29 1 / 2009
Get the Funk Out
What happens when you lose passion?
It’s a dangerous place to be. I’ve always known myself (as others have) to be a very passionate person about culture, people, life and basic elements. For some reason, over the past week I’ve felt myself to be different. I’ve lost the inertia and love for things I once sought after. This is only partially true (see my previous post) as I’m still excited about certain hobbies and activities. I’m not sure if there are outside factors that are creating this feeling of “being off”, but the only way I can describe it in words is I feel like I’m becoming indifferent.
Feeling indifferent and passionless is unfamiliar territory to me. Call it black and white or what you will, but I’m not used to feeling just in between. Usually, I’m happy, upset or content, but there’s even an absence of “just being”. It’s been bothering me because I feel most alive when I’m excited and enamored about traveling, career, people and self-expression through art and music. Now, suddenly I don’t seem to care as much about those things. Maybe this is just a phase; maybe it’s the cold and glum weather (seasonal affective disorder as they call it). I really just don’t know.
One part of myself that I’m proud of is my ability to care and express love. I think I have an unique, creative and vibrant way of going about it. I hope that never changes even though I don’t feel like myself right now. I’m ready to get out of this funk! I don’t like being here and I hope whatever the root cause is will either go away or figure itself out. I think just trying to put these thoughts into words is a good attempt to reverse the indifference. After all, writing IS one of my passions.
