19 12 / 2008
It’s not too late
Habits and life long behavior can be unlearned. Sometimes what you experience with someone on the outside is an external manifestation of deeper, internal and unresolved issues. Whether if it’s in the form of addictions, hostility, chronic depression, insecurity, masochism, promiscuity, narcissism or any of the other issues people deal with in their lives, there is always a root and a beginning to its existence.
Some argue these traits and characteristics are biological and many believe they are products of our environment and upbringing. There is a possibility it could be both. Either way, the first step is acknowledging it and understanding if it is playing a positive or negative role in everyday functions of life. The next step is finding the source; where and when did these feelings, issues and obstacles first impede a relationship, job or circumstance? What nurtured it and how did it become learned as a coping mechanism?
There are probably more steps in between, but the most important one, I believe, is the choice you make whether to face it and do something about it. Some may accept the fact they’re alcoholics, abusers… whatever and not care. Some may indulge in their disorders and blame it on other people or excuses. It’s easier to turn and look away from your flaws and problems and point the finger or just ignore them. It takes courage, hard work, patience and lots of introspection to confront and resolve the core cause. It is both traumatic and therapeutic, but mainly progress towards healing.
It’s not easy. Many fail and fall along the way. It certainly helps to have family and friends who support and encourage you all the way. But with determination and perseverance, any habit or behavior can be unlearned and changed. Humans were not meant to be prewired or destined for a certain path, personality or life. We were given the freedom of choice, and whatever we set in our mind and heart to be, we can achieve.
