I hear relationship sob stories and complaints every day. Some women have unreasonable and unrealistic expectations and some need to have complete control and domination. Some are just plain unhappy and stuck. I’ve studied the dynamic of men and women relationships through observations, college courses and personal life experiences since I was 5 years old. It’s very complex and comes naturally to some and not so much to others. I fit in the latter group and have had my share of trial and errors to where now I think I have a decent grasp on it. For the sake of time and length, I’m just going to point out the basic interactions that women do that could potentially sabotage their chances of happily ever after. The way that men should treat their women is another conversation for another day.

First things first. Have your place presentable. There’s nothing more of a turn-off for a decent dude than a filthy, messy house owned by a single woman. It’s ok to get lazy once in awhile but when you have piles of dirty clothes and used dishes that’s been in the sink for a week, it’s time to get off your ass. Call it sexist, but men hold women who can cook AND clean in high regards.

For the makeup queens, take it easy. It gets old for your man to have to wait an hour for you to put on your war paint to go out for lunch at IHOP. Getting pretty for dinner or fun dates is cool, but is it really necessary to always “get ready” before you step foot out the door? Real guys prefer the au naturale sans heavy makeup look.

Stop being a princess. This one was hard for me because I grew up a spoiled brat, but I figured out that you could still be prissy without being a pain. I love old-fashioned chivalry and guys who open doors and send me flowers get gold star stickers. But when you start expecting these kinds of things and nag and pout when you don’t get it, you lose privaleges fast.  When you start having unnecessary and trivial expectations, it’s no longer fun or spontaneous. Who wants to be in a relationship that has neither?

Treat others as you’d like to be treated. This is an oldie that’s been taught in schools, churches and homes and rings true here. Guys pay attention to how you talk to the waiter, how you interact with your friends and family and of course, how you treat them. These are good indicators of how your personality fairs in the long run. Are you sweet and accommodating when he’s had a bad day? Do you belittle him or tell him how much his friends or job sucks? Think about it.

Sharing is caring. I’ve met so many girls who only see things their way (I admit I can be a stubborn mule) but it’s important to try to share in your guy’s interests and goals. His may not be the same as yours but it’s not hard to find middle ground. Who knows, you might actually end up enjoying the shooting range or watching his favorite team and he will be more than willing to trying the girly things you like to do.

Lastly, relationships are about complimenting each other, not completing each other. Let me explain. You can have someone in your life who “completes” it, but you don’t need another person to “complete” who you are. You are meant to compliment your man and vice versa. Women are just like men in that they weren’t made to be codependent or submissive. As corny and rhetoric as it may sound, you have to learn to love yourself first before you can truly love someone else. Hope this helps ya’ll!